Getting to know people...

In my last Blog I talked about small talk and the graceful exit; one reader made the comment, "The best networking is achieved from being social, listening, and seeing how you can help others, not how they can help you", and she is absolutely right! If you are a good listener you're a good networker. 

This time I want to develop the point that the more you know about people the more you can really listen and learn!

If you actively listen to someone you will be able to qualify their conversation and ask some open-ended questions that will help you get to know the person better. If you also know something about differing personality types, the more you are likely to understand their needs.
There are many ways to differentiate between types but for the purposes of this article I will use colours! 

There are 4 colour/ personality types: Red, Blue, Green and Yellow.

Everybody has a colour type, and acts in a certain way:

• Some things are important to us.
• We like to be talked to in a certain way.
• We like and dislike certain things.

What if you:

• Knew how I liked to be talked to
• Knew what was important to me.
• Knew what I didn't like. Knew what I liked,
• knew if I was over sensitive,
• Knew if I needed support and knew if I like to have fun.

How can this information help you? Well, if you had this information about me and gained more insight as you talked with me it should help you understand me and my needs!

So, next time I will give you a brief overview of the four different personality types by colour.

Malcolm 

http://www.stevenagelocalbusiness.com/

The art of small talk...

Small talk basically consists of 3 phases:

• The ice breaker
• Get to know you better
• Graceful exit

So you attend a networking event, you make eye contact with someone you want to meet; you approach them and introduce yourself and now what?

Having a few powerful, open-ended ice breaker questions should certainly do the trick. For example:

"So John, what do you do?"

Now people love talking about themselves and their business so the idea here is to get them started talking, and most people also love to hear the sound of their own voice!

"So John, what brings you here today?"

Now notice on these sample ice breaker questions I've repeated the person's name.
Firstly, by doing this it will help burn that person's name into my mind so I don't forget it.
Secondly, people love the sound of their name - so don't be afraid to use it throughout your conversation

*Getting to know you better

Depending on the results of the ice breaker questions you should by now be able to determine whether or not it makes sense to get to know this person better.

If not, simply skip this phase and go to what I call the graceful exit (More on this later.)

But if you do see a connection, try some of these again open-ended, getting to know you better, questions:

How did you get into that business?
What is success for you and your business?
What's new in your industry?

You can use one or two of these questions, or more if the situation permits.

However, be careful here not to dominate someone's time as the idea is to network not monopolise and possibly alienate someone!

* The Graceful Exit

It's vastly important how you leave a conversation - as this is the last impression you make on that person. We're not looking to create any animosity; the key is to exit gracefully.

A major difference between the types of questions or statements you make in this phase as opposed to the previous two phases is that now you shift to using close-ended ones. For example:

Introduce the person to someone else that may be of interest to them and then politely excuse yourself.

Now they exchange pleasantries and you immediately exit the conversation by saying something like,

"Well you two probably have a lot to talk about."

"It's been great meeting you John, I hope to see you at the next meeting."


More next time, until then, I hope your small talk brings you continued success!

Malcolm 

http://www.stevenagelocalbusiness.com/

Developing a network...

Here are a few tips that can help develop a network that works for you:

Be Patient; Networking doesn't happen overnight; it's a process. While people may want to help you, they might not be able to do so right away.
If someone agrees to meet with you but can't do so immediately, accept their offer graciously and patiently. Never let an opportunity to meet with someone during the course of networking slip away. Always be open to meeting!

Be Authentic and Kind; when you do meet with someone take a sincere interest in their life, not just the information or possible assistance they can offer you.

Don't push people for their knowledge or connections and then abandon the relationship. Networking means fostering relationships. Relationships are built on trust and sharing over time.

Be a Conduit; Remember, the objective of networking is more networking.
Always find more contacts to meet and, in turn, become a great connector yourself! Open up your network to others. Hopefully they'll follow suit and do the same for you.

Be a Teacher; Keep in mind that not everyone you meet will understand what networking is or how they can help you. Many people think that the best way they can help you is to take your CV and pass it along; it's not, build relationships not contacts!

Be a Helper; Networking is reciprocal. No matter who you're dealing with, you should always try to give more than you receive. For example, if you have information about a particular company, industry, or educational program that would be valuable to someone in your network, share it. By sharing you will help others and in turn, others will help you.

So, remember, if you're constantly looking for ways to help people in your network achieve their goals, they'll be much more likely to help you in return.

Having started to develop your network, the next stage is to master the art of Small Talk!

 

 

Malcolm 

http://www.stevenagelocalbusiness.com/

Networking - the law of attraction...

When you go to a networking event it is important to attract people to you, some do it naturally but most of us have to work at it!

How to be visible:
What attracts you to people attracts people to you!

• Quiet or outgoing - The way you behave will attract similar people to you.
• Charisma - A thing we may worry about but really it is best to be yourself and remember, some will, some won't…
• Where you stand - Is really important, try to position yourself towards a corner where you can see people entering the room and never stand in the middle!
• How you enter a room - Is just as important , as people will be watching you too! You know where you're going, towards a corner where you can see the door, so walk purposefully there! (Of course if you know someone at least acknowledge them!)
• The quality of your conversation - This will get people to remember you, be glad to see you and get you invited to other events, so work on it!

Then, when you have met someone or made a good contact, keep in touch!

Keeping in contact:
Depending on contact/occasion:

Mail: Drop a mail to thank host; "good to meet you" or meet as agreed
Phone: Host; contacts as above
Send them invitations to your events.
Send them email / newsletter to share news or success stories, especially anything of relevance to them.

Finally always remember that it is better to give and you will receive!

Giving and receiving:
Don't try to sell! Listen, ask, remember non verbal shows of interest and you will be asked, "And what do you do?"
Build trust: people buy from people! Remember, what attracts/ detracts you from people? Effective networking is about building relationships: with others who can refer you once they've come to trust you and have confidence in you.

This truly is the key to networking success, and this process takes time. This isn't a get-rich-quick scheme. It's a way to build your business through referrals.

Someone giving a third party testimonial: helps more than anything, and that's the power of the third-party testimonial. It happens not because they trust you, but they trust the person who is referring you!

If you want to get better at giving referrals, there's a simple question to ask people:

"How will I know when I meet a really good prospect for you?"

You will find they describe for you their ideal client and…it maybe you!

I hope this helps and next time I will talk about developing a network that works for you!

Malcolm 

http://www.stevenagelocalbusiness.com/

Networking - the first meeting...

When we meet someone for the first time, are you afraid that…

You won't know what to say: Hi I'm …!
You won't know anyone: Introduce yourself, look for someone, join group - Hi I'm …
You'll dry: Rehearse phrases - I'm …. and I'm new to this
You'll make a fool of yourself: So what, think how often does that happen.

FIDO = Forget it Drive On!
Remember, some will, some won't, so what!

Come up with some icebreakers or conversation starters.
Have questions prepared that you can ask anyone you meet at the event.
You may want to inquire about other people's business, their connection to the sponsoring organisation or their opinion of the venue.
 

You will not come across as pushy if you seek out the "approachable" people. These are the ones who are standing alone or who are speaking in groups of three or more. Whereas, two people talking to each other are not approachable because they may be having a private conversation and you would be interrupting

So, before you walk into a room think & remember...

When you go to networking event be prepared, be relaxed and genuine, you will find that it is a lot more fun. Prepare: What you're going to say, Hi I'm ... and …
Have a plan of action to really get to know people; you will be much more productive in a shorter amount of time.
Decide how many people you'll meet; Set a number between 2 & 5. Avoid: people you know and are safe company, however do acknowledge them!
People will feel comfortable talking to you and you to them in an environment of truth, more people will want to do business with you and to be around you; authentic enthusiasm is contagious

Meet and greet, remember what I suggested in an earlier post, imagine you are the host and introduce people!

That's it for now, I hope it helps and next time I'll cover some more tips to help you create your own successful network! 

Malcolm 

http://www.stevenagelocalbusiness.com/

Networking - The Do's and Don'ts..

If you have a car, would you hand over your car keys to a perfect stranger? Of course not!
Now instead of a key to your car, imagine you have a key that opens the door to an important relationship with a colleague that someone else would like to connect with. You hold the key to this relationship, but you don't know the person who's asking for it. Would you give it to them? Of course not! Why?

*Because when you give a referral, you give away a piece of your reputation. If it's a good referral, it helps your reputation; if it's a bad referral, it hurts. Intuitively, you'll only hand over the keys to someone you know and trust.
What I love about this example is that it works on two levels:

First, you're not going to hand over the keys to a relationship until you know a person well. But more important, others don't even know what keys you actually have until you trust them enough to tell them.

So what should you do?

*Get involved - be visible. Do as much as you can to make yourself more visible. Being involved does a couple of things for you and your business.

• First, you'll get more opportunities to establish connections and get to know some of the contacts you've made even better.
• Secondly, the higher the visibility you have in the group, the less you'll have to work to make new connections.

*Make it a point to meet new people. Instead of spending all of your time with friends or colleagues, go off on your own. Sit next to them during the sessions. Start conversations while walking between sessions.

*Don't advertise, give out cards or dominate conversations. It all comes down to establishing credibility. I've seen many people who think networking is about meeting people and asking for business right then and there. Think
how you would react to someone who says, "Hello, my name is ….. Let's do business."

*Do ask, listen, be interested, move around and give only when asked, "How can I help you?"
Networking is like farming. It's about cultivating those relationships with other people. Think about a farmer, he prepares the soil for months before ever planting the seeds. He tends the seedlings with care, feeding and watering them regularly, putting up a scarecrow to keep birds away. It's a long, drawn-out process to go from seeding a field to harvesting the crops. There's no quick return.

*Ask open-ended questions during your networking conversations, questions that ask who, what, where, when, and how. Try to avoid questions that require a simple yes or no response.
Remember, in all your dealings, if you make a mistake and say something that can be potentially embarrassing, you can always apologise for it and be forgiven. But if you say something that is not true, your credibility may be permanently damaged!

I hope that helps, next time I'll discuss meeting someone for the first time & going to your first meeting.

Malcolm

Networking - Are you shooting yourself in the foot?

When you find a group or two join and go to all the meetings you can. Don't go just once or twice expecting things to happen and then if they don't quit. Building mutually beneficial, win-win relationships will take some time.
There are lots of myths about networking, so let's debunk a few:
Myth 1: The more you network, the more effective your networking activities become

Truth 1: It's much more important to become well-known in 1-2 circles than to spread your networking activities over many different groups.

Myth 2: The cocktails and drinks circuit is the way to network to success

Truth 2: Networking with strangers to build business is about as effective as going to a bar to get married!

Myth 3: Networking is all about getting more people to know what you do.

Truth 3: Networking is all about getting people that already know you to share opportunities where you can be helpful to each other.
* Make 2-3 phone calls a day to connect with people from past jobs, former clients, or influential people who have expressed interest in you in the past.

Here's why you're not going to meet your business soul mate at a networking event:

• You aren't going to do business with someone after meeting them for a few minutes.
• Businesses are built on relationships
• Most of us have major trouble in explaining what we do
• Networking with strangers is not targeted or specific and is completely random.
• This type of networking is exactly as effective as cold calling, which is the least effective marketing tool there is.

So am I saying that networking is a waste of time? Absolutely not, what I'm saying is you need to start networking smarter:

* Network by having coffee or lunch with people one on one. Get to know them and their business. But aim first and foremost to make them a friend. The rest will follow naturally.

* If you're going to network with strangers, go with the goal of making 2-3 lunch or coffee dates with people you find interesting.
* Ask every happy customer you have, for just one referral of someone who would be interested in your type of goods or services, then call and use their name.
* Create a network "hit list" of the exact kind of businesses you want to network with. Make the list and put it in your little black book or on you computer contact list. Focus your networking on only those people - or others who can refer you to those people.
* Join non-business groups and spend time doing non-business activities: Civic, social, religious, recreational, musical, athletic... the list is endless. Establish relationships with people in your group.
* If you do go to a "mixer" event go with a targeted goal in mind. For example, your goal might be "to meet three people on my target list"


Next time, I'll show you what to do and not do!

Malcolm